Which amendment covers turkeys?
People are so resourceful—and sometimes incidentally patriotic—in times of crisis. Yesterday, for instance, a Good Samaritan who was shopping at Harris Teeter in Fuquay-Varina, NC, attempted to stop a carjacker by clocking him over the head with his frozen Thanksgiving turkey, succeeding in both doing a good deed and demonstrating the Second Amendment. The suspect allegedly robbed a nearby gas station, then walked over to the Teeter lot, where he starting beating a woman in the face so he could get her car keys. That’s when bystanders jumped him and gave him the bird. The suspect managed to drive off in the lady’s car, but cops eventually nabbed him and took him in for treatment of what they describe as a “serious head injury.” No mention of the weight of the bird, unfortunately, but I’d imagine even a little 12-pounder would do the trick.
Josh and I are planning an Indian feast this Thanksgiving, but maybe we should consider something more substantial in case things get hairy in the Walmart parking lot. Chicken tikka masala doesn’t make a very good bludgeon.
[via WRAL]
2 responses so far ↓
1 jan m // Nov 24, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I think I would throw my shoulder out, if I even tried to fling my turkey at anyone. They are darn heavy! Serious head injury for sure.
2 JT // Nov 24, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Now they’ve done it. Be on the lookout for assault turkey ban legislation.
They can take away my frozen turkey from my cold, dead, hands!